Every action has a reaction. A consequence.
Some actions trigger glorious responses, these are the type we are proud of.
However, sometimes our actions cause destruction. Pain. Ruin relationships.
These are the kind of actions I am going to talk about.
This is going to be an extremely personal blog post that I have been debating with myself about posting. In fact, I may type this whole thing out and it will remain living in my drafts folder. We'll see.
Basically, I have been sorting through a lot in my life lately. I have been asking myself some tough questions that are triggering me to think about just what type of woman I am growing up to be. As I stepped back and observed what my actions were showing and as I examined where my heart was at, I realized something.
I had lost sight of the godly woman I wanted so badly to be. I had no idea where she was.
As I staggered back at this realization, an even heavier one hit me.
I had lost sight of the One who was the very reason I was striving to BE that kind of woman for. No, I'm not talking about my mysterious Prince Charming or knight in shining armor. I'm talking about a Father who I have claimed to love these last couple of months. The One who's heart I was breaking. A God who saw through my facade and loved me anyway.
You see, I had drifted. I had allowed silly things like a crazy schedule, a desire to be attractive and a selfish plan for my life to push me farther and farther away from the only One that has mattered this entire time. I had stopped concerning myself about His plans for my life and focusing only on what I wanted out of it.
That's all it took.
I know I have changed. I know others have noticed it. Hey, some people probably liked the change. Others may not have even noticed. But I know I have hurt people, confused people.
The worst part of it all is that I have not been the picture of Christ that I was striving to paint. It scares me to think of all the people that I have been such a horrible witness to. I feel like I have wasted so much time.
I only have about a month before I head to college in August. My goal is to set things right. I have praying that God will remove this selfish fear of what others think about me and that He would give me the boldness that He deserves. I pray that I am not tempted to water down the Gospel to please people or to keep myself from being offensive. I may have already offended some of you reading this. Others may have stopped reading this at the first reference to Christ. I also know that I may lose some of you who have been reading this blog
It has never been my intention to 'shove my religion down anyone's throat'. I believe that we all should have the freedom to choose how we live our lives. With that being said, I firmly believe that Jesus is only One who will bring you a full and eternal life. I refuse to be ashamed of that.
I will leave you with this verse. It is one that I found recently that really ties into what I have been experiencing lately. Here goes:
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15-16
Some actions trigger glorious responses, these are the type we are proud of.
However, sometimes our actions cause destruction. Pain. Ruin relationships.
These are the kind of actions I am going to talk about.
This is going to be an extremely personal blog post that I have been debating with myself about posting. In fact, I may type this whole thing out and it will remain living in my drafts folder. We'll see.
Basically, I have been sorting through a lot in my life lately. I have been asking myself some tough questions that are triggering me to think about just what type of woman I am growing up to be. As I stepped back and observed what my actions were showing and as I examined where my heart was at, I realized something.
I had lost sight of the godly woman I wanted so badly to be. I had no idea where she was.
As I staggered back at this realization, an even heavier one hit me.
I had lost sight of the One who was the very reason I was striving to BE that kind of woman for. No, I'm not talking about my mysterious Prince Charming or knight in shining armor. I'm talking about a Father who I have claimed to love these last couple of months. The One who's heart I was breaking. A God who saw through my facade and loved me anyway.
You see, I had drifted. I had allowed silly things like a crazy schedule, a desire to be attractive and a selfish plan for my life to push me farther and farther away from the only One that has mattered this entire time. I had stopped concerning myself about His plans for my life and focusing only on what I wanted out of it.
That's all it took.
I know I have changed. I know others have noticed it. Hey, some people probably liked the change. Others may not have even noticed. But I know I have hurt people, confused people.
The worst part of it all is that I have not been the picture of Christ that I was striving to paint. It scares me to think of all the people that I have been such a horrible witness to. I feel like I have wasted so much time.
I only have about a month before I head to college in August. My goal is to set things right. I have praying that God will remove this selfish fear of what others think about me and that He would give me the boldness that He deserves. I pray that I am not tempted to water down the Gospel to please people or to keep myself from being offensive. I may have already offended some of you reading this. Others may have stopped reading this at the first reference to Christ. I also know that I may lose some of you who have been reading this blog
It has never been my intention to 'shove my religion down anyone's throat'. I believe that we all should have the freedom to choose how we live our lives. With that being said, I firmly believe that Jesus is only One who will bring you a full and eternal life. I refuse to be ashamed of that.
I will leave you with this verse. It is one that I found recently that really ties into what I have been experiencing lately. Here goes:
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15-16
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